Life, Unschooled

I realized the other day that this started out to be my unschooling blog, but that I rarely write about unschooling anymore as a subject. Come to think of it, I don't really think about it that much either. Rather, as time has gone by, it has gotten more and more normal just to live our lives - all four of us in this family - pursue our passions, and not really think that much about schooling in any sense. When the kids are younger and unschooling is newer as a concept, I think there's a tendency to be on the lookout for times that "learning" is occurring, to maybe have some anxiety that the right kinds of learning will occur by the right magic milestones, and to make sure to provide the right kinds of educational opportunities. As the years roll by though, it becomes plainly evident that such vigilance isn't needed. The kids are always busy, always pursuing so many different and exciting opportunities, learning becomes self-evident and not something to be chased in circles like a dog with its tail.

But since I know a lot of folks read this blog who are in various stages of unschooling, beginning to unschool, thinking about unschooling, or thinking unschooling is just plain crazy, maybe its time for a little update on how all of that works now that the kids are (ulp!) 12 and 9.

So here's what we've been up to lately. Firstly, robotics is still on the front stage since the team is going to the State competition in 10 days. So that means team practices for about 5 or so hours a week. Plus, Mackenzie has been working on one really tough program and spending extra hours on that. He put in three hours today on that program alone, and with the help of team member Tiff they finally got it completely debugged and working perfectly. Since this program uses variables, timers, loops, sensors, sub-routines and case statements, it's easily the most complex single program they've ever attempted. It's cool to watch the kids get completely involved in something and really work through the tough spots until its all puzzled out.

Speaking of hard work and fun, Asa had a great time in the musical production of Scrooge this December. She played Martha Cratchit, and can be seen here singing her heart out (far right) over Scrooge's coffin. Interestingly, that's exactly the part I played in a version called "Ebenezer" when I acted as a teenager. For this spring, she just auditioned for the musical version of Beauty and the Beast and she will be playing the part of Chip, the little teacup. There's nothing she loves more than singing, dancing, acting, and hanging out with other folks who love those things so the world of theatre is right up her alley. She can also be heard rocking out with her new Karaoke machine (thanks Santa) at all hours of the day, and has asked me more than once how old she has to be to audition for American Idol. She's got a gorgeous voice, so I wouldn't put it past her someday.


Mackenzie is more of the quiet and introverted type, so theatre is not for him, but he got a bow for his birthday from his Uncle Nickrooz and Aunty Meese and has really been enjoying using that at the archery range that Wayne set up down near the creek. When bad weather strikes, he's usually curled up with a book and a cat, or else playing D&D with friends, WoW, Chess, building Lego inventions, or his own game inventions. He recently approached me with an idea for a book that knocked my socks off, and he and I will be working on that together.

One extremely happy development in having older kids is that they have gotten inspired to try some cooking. Asa checked out a kids' cookbook from the library and has so far made guacamole (really good!) and her own sushi. The first attempt at sushi didn't go so well (a couple of forgotten ingredients didn't help) but this time around was delicious! I'm looking forward to more of her culinary adventures. Wayne has started baking bread for the family and he and Mackenzie made Cinnamon rolls for Christmas Eve. Yummmm.

And as for the rest of our time, there's always gardening, long walks, family game nights, karate, trips to the library, the art and science museums, plays, concerts, reading books together, hanging out with our 15 animals, and lots of other fun stuff. In other words, just living life together and learning along the way. Life, Unschooled.

Untie the Apron Strings, the HMS Freedom is Sailing

I appear to have reached some critical juncture in my parenting life. I didn't see it coming, there was no signpost reading Imminent Demands for Freedom, 10 miles ahead. No warnings. Just out of the blue, my kids want more freedom to do more things. The requests come fast and furious and apparently I wasn't prepared enough to think out the answers ahead of time. This leaves me standing there in the moment thinking "Is it okay if he goes over to a friend's house when I'm not at home?", "Can she really cross the street safely by herself without me to jerk her back by the arm if a car comes speeding around the corner?", and worst of all the recent "Will this kayak turn over and drown both of my kids if I let them paddle out into the lake by themselves?" Of course, in that moment in which a child has asked to do something daring and exciting, the last thing they want is parental him-hawing.

To add complexity to my decision-making task, one of my kids is extremely cautious and one is a risk-taker extraordinaire. Which means that by the time the first one has come to the conclusion that he is ready and responsible enough for a certain freedom, I can usually just rubber-stamp his decision. The second one is just as likely to ask "Can I fly to the moon tomorrow?" as "Can I cross the street by myself?" And I'm not the kind of parent who likes to put unreasonable No's in my kids' path. I want them to have the kind of childhood I experienced: building forts in the forest and riding my bike around town and basically feeling like the world was wide open to me. Unfortunately, I also don't want Miss Risk Taker doing some of the crazy and, I should point out, unsupervised things that I did as a kid. There was a well on our property and we liked to take off the old rotting boards covering it and throw things down it to listen to how long it took before they hit bottom. I grew up in an old gold-mining area and one of our favorite places to play was the "Chinese Diggins", an area of old tunnels with rusted out mining cars and dangerous shafts going straight down into the ground that had been mined by Chinese workers in the late 1800s. As much as I love my folks, sometimes my childhood reminiscences end in my head with the phrase "What the hell were they thinking???"

So it was with great trepidation that I watched my kids paddle off into the lake last weekend. But what can you do when your oldest, who up until recently wouldn't set foot in a boat (I think he might be the only child in Disneyland history to refuse to get into the Storybook Boats because they were "too dangerous") suddenly asks to paddle around in the kayak by himself, and then after an hour of that asks to take his little sister for a ride??

You can unti the apron strings, throw some confetti, wipe a tear from your eye, and watch the HMS Freedom sail away.

The Coolest Thing Ever

...is when you're standing in the kitchen late at night cutting up strawberries, because you and the kids picked about a million pounds of them and you need to get them in the freezer. Your kids are waiting patiently for you to finish so you can sit together and read a chapter book, your nightly ritual. This month it's a re-read of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, before the movie comes out. They decide to take turns reading it out loud to you while you work.

It's one of those moments when you realize everything has clicked. I mean, I knew my kids were both avid readers because, well, they read all the time! But they rarely read out loud, especially this kind of book. M. will read all kinds of non-fiction to me (his latest is a Mythbusters book from the library Don't Try This At Home that he finds fascinating), especially over the breakfast table, and Miss. A. will read me little picture books about cute fuzzy things until the cows come home. But to hear each of them reading aloud from Harry Potter was just really something. They've both done it - made that transition from halting sounder-outer to easy reader to picture books to this! I know it's been said in so many ways on so many websites and lists and unschooling blogs, but it's wonderful to watch reading happen organically and naturally and beautifully.

I had the privilege of talking with a couple of twin toddlers yesterday. At almost two, they were in those beginning phases of language where one must purse up the lips and screw up the face with concentration to form the word "ball". The excitement when I understood and said "yes, I see your ball!" was wonderful to see. It reminded me that it's really all the same. We can make learning so difficult. We can wrap it up in packages of educationalese, we can quantify it and try to measure it, define it and parcel it out into subjects and time slots. But it's really no different. It's all about trying, failing, succeeding, and trying some more. With love and encouragement, learning always happens.